This isn't your normal blog post. This is an action post. Ready? Let’s get started!
Tomorrow is your second birthday and somehow that is shocking to me. Where did an entire year go? Wasn't I just writing to you on your first birthday last week? Once again I'm sick for your big day. I hope this doesn't become a trend - it's not fun for anyone.
I refuse to be a Sacrificial Mother. That includes lying about my kids or about kids in general. Sometimes kids are assholes. It's a side effect of being human. And the real truth, the part we're never supposed to say out loud, is that I simply don't like them all the time. Like, for instance, the entire year of 3.
THREE SUCKED. There was a part of every single day, and a huge part of many days, that truly, deeply sucked.
I feel like I'm not doing this right! I know I should be better at this, but...
I know this isn't the right way to do this, but...
Everyone take a deep breath. Now, another one. I'm not kidding. Breathe in for a few counts and then out for a few.
THAT WAS SELF-CARE.
I had just told my mother that I was pregnant. Unmarried.
Without a full-time job.
In a shitty living situation.
Dating Adam for only a few months.
And pregnant.
Melissa Harris-Perry wrote an article for Elle.com about self-care that has a lot of people talking. When I first saw mention of it I was excited - finally, someone with clout was going to talk about self-care for black women! Then I read the pull quote at the top of the piece. I'm not sure what I was expecting but this was not it:
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT SELF-CARE IS NECESSARY FOR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING.
Ummm... whaaaaaa?