Self-care seems to be having a moment right now. It's everywhere. All over social media, in print advertising and on my TV I see women asking each other what they're doing for self-care. I see companies selling women self-care. I see so, so many people who have no clue what they are talking about. This isn't the first time I've written about the way we sell self-care. Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming into the wind about this. But then I hear from a potential client that they aren't sure that they need self-care because all the massages and bubble baths in the world won't fix their problems.
What if you were worthy? How would that change your life? What if you were worthy of being loved. Even when you don't love yourself.
What if you were worthy of time? Even when it feels like there isn't any.
What if you were worthy of space? Even if you need to stretch out your elbows to get it.
What if you were worthy of comfort? Even when everything hurts.
What if you were worthy of money? Even when you aren't bringing any into your family.
He only eats six foods.
I need to get better at meal planning.
I hate meal planning.
Do children's vitamins actually work?
She only has five words.
We need to clean before the speech therapist comes.
First of all, you should know that I did not approve this. I did not say that it was okay for you to just keep growing and changing. Where are my chubby little legs? Where are my tiny baby toes? Mommy votes no.
That's another thing - at some point this year I went from being Mama to Mommy and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Mommy is something that kids say. Children. Not babies.
I may need to come to terms with the fact that you aren't a baby anymore. Shit.
YOU CAN'T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP.
Whenever I talk about self-care someone brings up that line. And it rankles me. Cups aren't created to pour from, but to drink from. Self-care is not about being better mothers, wives, partners, daughters, sisters, or friends. It is about taking care of ourselves because we are whole human beings who deserve care and love.
I lost my personhood the moment I announced my pregnancy.
I was told not to get upset because everything I felt the baby felt too. I was told not to gain too much weight because it would be a struggle to lose it afterward and that would make it even harder for me to keep Adam around. I was told it was good that I was terrified of being a mother - that meant that I'd be a great one. I was lectured by family, friends, and medical professionals about my diet, exercise, emotional state, clothing choices, and sex drive - all to ensure either a happy baby or a happy partner.