We don't see mothers, not really. We see the archetypes, we see the Facebook and Instagram feeds, we see the presentations of mothers. We make assumptions based on a few pictures or a few minutes in line at the grocery store. We judge mothers so harshly that it is scary for a mother to step out bravely into the truth of their motherhood journey and be seen. Visibility is a vulnerability, yes, but there is also power in it.

You don't need to 'get your body back' in order to be worthy of desire. The ideas that you grew up with about what is sexy may not have included motherhood. Patriarchy loves a binary and Madonna/Whore is a classic. But you need to know that your level of sexual desire is not wrong, or bad, or selfish, or dirty. You are not a prude or a whore and you are not dried up or washed out. You're just you. Still you. Always you.

When I was a little girl and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up my first thought was always, ‘happy’. I learned quickly that what they meant by that question was what career was I interested in. 

Any way that you look at it we do not respect mothers or mothering in our society. We, the mothers, don’t even fully respect the work we’re doing as we do it. How many times have you needed a break that you didn’t ask for because you didn’t want to seem needy or weak?

How many times have you said, “I don’t know why I’m so tired”?

Your name is not Mommy.

Or mom.

Or mama.

Or ma.

Your name is not _______’s mom.

You have a name.

How intimately do you know your voice? When was the last time you were honest about your experience of motherhood? How many people in your life do you feel comfortable speaking your truth to?

If a mother speaks in a house full of family, have they made a sound?