First you have to decide that this is going to happen. You are going to grow things. You have to understand that this will be a time suck, that money will be wasted, that things will die and be thrown away. That has to be ok with you. Now you can proceed.

When you Google 'mental health triggers' you get a range of definitions. Most of them have to do with what can set off a person when they are feeling healthy or are in what I like to call remission. If you're a big blog reader like I am you'll see that a lot of blogs will have a Trigger Warning at the top. I try to do this when I'm going to be talking graphically about my struggles or about anything else that I think might hurt someone who is having a rough day.

My head shrinker is a mean, mean woman. She's trying to get me to actually do work to heal myself. I know, right?! Grrrrr...

I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm exhausted from being sick. I'm pissed off about being tired. So many good things are happening and I can't hold on to them or really feel them because I'm consumed with this fucking disease that is trying to rob me of all the colors and make me live in the gloaming.

Here are some tidbits from my life lately: "I love this picture of Graeme. But Graeme does not suffer from postpartum depression on a daily basis. If she did, she would not be the amazing mother that she is. Graeme is one of the best and most nurturing mothers I know!! Happy Birthday Grammy!"

I'm 35 today.

I can say, for pretty much the first time ever, that I am proud of the woman that I am. I am proud of the mother that I am. I am proud of the daughter, sister and friend that I am. I am proud of the girlfriend that I am. I am proud of the business owner that I am. I am proud of the mental health warrior that I am.