I took Buddy to Montessori this morning. I signed him in and we walked around to the playground gate. Kiddos, this place is like toddler HEAVEN. Still, he lingered at the gate and tried to pull me in with him. I knelt down and gave him a hug and a kiss and asked him what he wanted to play with, and didn't that big beach ball with the water spraying out look like fun? Then he recognized one of the teachers from his 'warm ins' last week and sprinted off to her. She got a hug and a big kiss and I have never in my life been that jealous of a woman. EVER. I wanted to run in there and snatch him up and yell, "MINE!".

But I waved and walked away and drove off to do some errands. This is how it begins - he'll just keep leaving me and coming back and leaving again from now on.

We're making room and making plans for Baby #2’s arrival in the Fall. Part of that is for the Buddy to start at a daycare that he loves. Check. This should free me up to focus on my business and get some rest and do some nesting. Check... sort of...

I got work done, a lot of work. But I kept seeing him running away from me in my mind's eye. It's good that he's happy there. It's wonderful that there's a teacher who makes his eyes light up and brings a smile and a kiss to his lips. These are all things that I'm grateful for. Montessori was MY idea. We're sure paying enough for it.

And yet I find that I miss being interrupted constantly to kiss a puppy or a fire truck or to read a story or to count one, two three, GO! or change a diaper or make a snack or go for a walk.

This school is amazing. The kids (6mos to kindergarten) are having fun and learning, the teachers are certified in like a million specialties. They have an on-site organic garden for heaven's sake and they are a certified Monarch butterfly sanctuary. One of the teachers is an artist in residence - because 2 year olds should totally be learning string instruments.  He's with kids his age, learning new things, making new friends, having a wonderful time.

I can focus now. I can get so much more done. I finished about a week's worth of work in three hours. I can work on his room and the office and maybe get the house somewhat clean. I can write to all of you. I can study and learn and advocate for mom's with Maternal Mental Illnesses. I can plan his 2nd birthday party this month and my trip to Boston for the Postpartum Progress Conference next month.

Or I can just sit here and stare at the clock.

Ten more minutes and I can go pick him up, bring him home and get nothing done for the rest of the day but love.